just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize