i already hear my dad disowning me
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Buhtt sex?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
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what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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