We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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