Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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