Cold hands, warm shart.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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