So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you inspire me to be a worse person
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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