Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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