why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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