do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize