good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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