Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
