So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
