My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize