Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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