so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
this just has baby written all over it
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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