i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
