Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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