I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
