It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
