Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
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