I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
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Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
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Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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