so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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