He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
