can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
