So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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