i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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