Do you still have your period?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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