The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
