I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
