bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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