lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
