I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
