dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
