thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
organizing the empties. That sober.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
