i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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