she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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