theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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