She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm sobbing to NWA
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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