What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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