Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
