My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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