apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
