8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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