You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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