she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
