so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
they need to just BURY HIM!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We are two peas in an std pod
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
