dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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