got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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