Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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