Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
