FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
