how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
