There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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