I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
