oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
high people should be assigned attendants
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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