i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
